Mind Your Fucking Manners You Fucking Cocksucker!

Today I wished I lived in Deadwood cause I wanted to smash a cocksuckers teeth out of his smarmy head real bad. What are manners? What does it mean to be polite? I would guess that it means doing something “right” without having to be asked, giving your seat up to the elderly or a pregnant woman, holding a door, offering a tissue, that sort of thing.

I was in a local sandwich shop today which is notorious for being slow and crowded. I stop in sometimes and get a sandwich to eat while Ella eats or takes a nap. I got in the door with Ella in her stroller with no problem. The place was packed so I deiced not to wait. There was this man standing in front of the door, “Excuse me I’m going to leave,” I said politely. The man steps to the side ignoring me. Not being able to stop myself I said, “Don’t hold the door or anything.” Thankfully someone did open the door and I started to drop Ella down the stairs. Then he says, “I’m under no obligation to help you,” again, unable to stop myself I said “Fuck You! What? You can’t be nice and open a door you can see I need help!” And on it went for another few seconds. The crowed did seem to be on my side cause this guy starts telling me if I had asked he would have helped that sort of thing. For all the problems I have had with my upbringing being Catholic and all, I go out of my way to help people or at least offer because it’s the way I want to be treated but moreover because it’s polite and the right thing to do. No obligation. That’s what’s wrong with this country we all think everyone is out to fuck us so we don’t even engage in common courtesy at least in my opinion. This guy was a white middle class, middle aged man who should fucking know better.

Later that afternoon on our way back from the doctor - Ella had a fever but she was OK- I stopped to get her a doughnut for a snack. As I moved toward the Dunk’n door a huge and I mean huge black dude with big guns and like two feet on me, the kind of guy you wouldn’t say boo too, rushes in front of me, then stops, opens the door behind him and says with a smile on his face, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you there,” “No problem. Thanks.” I said. Then he gave me his place in line. Just goes to show you can never tell about people. I have to say in the almost two years since I have been pushing that stroller a black man has never let me struggle with a door.

New Political Term

Anyone who knows me knows that I very often have more free time and curiosity than I do sense. The other day was no exception. A "gentleman" stopped me on the street as I passed and asked if I wanted to hear some information on impeaching Cheney. "It'll never happen but sure lay it on me," I said. Now to make things clear I don't want anyone in the current admin impeached I want them out of office and for our country to move on, but this seemed good for a laugh. The guy went on about how a bill is before congress with so-and-so attached yada yada yada. I asked who was behind this bill, he turned his head and lowered his voice so I didn’t catch it all but I head the magic words, the verbal equivalent of a warning hiss from a Cobra, throes words? Lyndon Larouche. "Sorry I said I don't listen to anything he has to say, sorry." I said trying to leave gracefully. "Why is that?" he asked. Now there are a thousands lies I could have told but the truth came spilling out, "Because he's crazy," said I thinking that somehow this wouldn't lead to more problems. We talked and again I said that nothing I could say to him would make him see things my way. He wanted issues. I didn't have any, then again if he wanted to debate a stranger about the battle of Gettysburg he might be surprised to see the facts I have tucked away in my head. But I didn't have any other than the general stuff about Larouche and his global conspiracies theory etc. Normally I take exception being compared to McCarthy but in order to end this and have this guy stop following me I reiterated that we would never see eye to eye and said good day.

So I propose a new name to enter the political lexicon (ahem) "Larouche-bag"